I am perplexed that we characterize one annual day to honor our "Mothers". This will be the first Mother's Day since my adoptive mom , Shirley, left this temporary walk. People have already started saying" I know it will be hard, you will be sad etc... The moments will come, however, my focus is more on cherishing all the hours, minutes and years I was able to share with her. "Mothers", and those who earn the right to that title, can take many forms. Our "Mother" can be the one who adopted us and helped shape our life, the birth one who gave us life, the foster one who gave us foundation, the kind teacher who just "was there", the really nice lady who "just believed in us" or just the sibling/friend who unselfishly cared. The redeeming part of all of the gifts that our 'Mothers" gave us remain. Regardless of anything this life can throw at us including death, those gifts remain intact in our souls with our feet planted firmly bestowed by the seeds which have now rooted. We received them through the gift of knowing our mothers and now plant them in our own.
Shortly after my son was born, I jokingly said "I feel like the Orangutang mom off the Discovery Channel". I do not consider myself violent, however, the instinct to claw anyone or anything that might cause harm to "my" child was pretty strong. In all honesty, it still is. That helps me appreciate more the utter devastation for those "Mothers " who have lost a "child" or "children". That loss is truly the inconsolable wound and those "Mothers", with whom I have had the honor to walk with, are some of the toughest, most soul wrenching humans on the planet. Motherhood is the most primal of emotions and we truly are a part of our 'moms" at a cellular level whether they biologically gave birth to us or not. We continue this in our own and the cycle continues..and vice versa.
As we approach "Mothers Day", my intent is writing this post is to give another perspective on the grieving aspect. Yes, use all of those loving ways that are so wonderful to honor that "Mom"
Let us remember though that the seeds have been planted, the roots have been fertilized and it is now one of our "reasons for being here" to carry on the story and act as farmers toiling the soil and planting the seeds in our own manner, timing and circumstances.
What an incredible gift....
Happy Mothers Day